How funny!

[mummachicka]

My DH & I just had a 'finance chat'. He told me that if I wanted to keep my car then I had to go back to work.

I just sat there and laughed at him.....and then I realized he was serious.Whoops.

Anyhow I guess the cars going then.

We have 4 children, WE run a small house painting business. He paints and I do EVERYTHING else. And he wants me to go back to work. Oh please.

Who would clean the house, do the washing, do school drop-offs & pickups, our twins have 'special needs' so who would go to all the appointments, go to the bank, get supplies for him, write up quotes, deliver quotes, follow up on quotes, iron, cook dinner, make lunches, pack the dishwasher, pat our daughter to sleep, attend business seminars, do the BAS, go to the accountant etc etc.

Yes dear, I DO work, I just dont draw a wage.

Am I right?

Besides when will I have time to go the gym 3 times a week & to get my nails done once a fortnight.

[rosierose]

They take us for grantec these guys..................and what are you going to do...pick the kids on your pushie?

[thisisme]

Would your pay cover the costs of child-care, full time cleaner, cook, chauffeur, someone to run the business etc? If yes, then maybe he has a point =) ... maybe he just wants you to have an easier life. Because a full time job is nothing in comparison to taking care of 4 children + husband, running a household AND a business in your case!!!

[mummachicka]

Thanks for the support ladies, knew I could count on you all to back me up on this one.

I honestly dont mind getting an older model car [nothing TOO old, I've got a reputation to keep here]. Maybe an 05/06 Toyota Prado. I need something with 7 seats so it has to be a 4wd anyhow. We currently have an 08/09 Nissan Pathfinder which we bought brand new however at the time I was more than willing to get 2nd hand car - but mr mummachicka had other ideas so really it is his fault. Agreed?

We owe a lot less than what we can get for it selling it private, so we will only have to borrow around $20K which will reduce our repayments by about $500 or more p/mth. Which of course means more money in my pocket...whoops, OUR pocket. lol.

I honestly dont mind getting a 2nd hand car. I dosnt bother me. What does bother me is the thought of going back to work when I have all this other stuff to deal with. And of course men being men [well mine anyhow] I cant imagine I'd get much more help around the house. When the boys are older & my little girl has settled into a school routine then I wouldnt mind going back part time. I do miss work. I miss being a 'person' & not a mum or master/s mummachickas mum or miss mummachickas mum or 'the mrs', but I also like my stay at home role too. Why cant life be easier?

[Di]

I agree that men have no idea what we really do to keep a house running but they soon find out when we don't do it.

I must admit though that I feel like I am more organised and get more done when I am working outside of home and then have less time to think, "I'll do that later on". You just get in there and do it. Don't worry, it won't be too long til they're all in high school and you have more time on your hands.

I'm with you on the car. I have and have had new cars but it does not bother me whether I have 2nd hand or not. The problem we have here is that hubby is a mechanic by trade now working in management and every single car I suggest, he says no to. I'd love something small but have to be able to accommodate 2 cricket kits and adult sized kids which means bigger and more $$.

[Darkbyte]

TIM is right on the money, how much extra would it cost in child care?? That is not cheap! And family can only put up with it for so long (there may also be a waiting list - call a few so that you are well informed)

As for selling a new car to get an older one... I am always hesitant about this because you never know what you are buying. With a new car you know how it was treated. My sucess rate with second hand vs new has been 50/50. First mc was second hand and great, second mc (second hand) did its gearbox bearings, third mc new, needed waranty work. First car (second hand) small issues the thing was older than me, second car (second hand) needed a bottom end rebuild, third car (new) fine.

Im sure he will love going and getting his own supplies and doing the quotes? It will just make more work for him! Think of all that extra dealing with people he will have to do!

To be honest, look at the rest of your budget before imposing the 'just earn more money fix'. Can you trim some money from the groceries, less takeaway, rent dvds instead of movies etc, etc. Its amazing what we can do when we look. Maybe have a garage sale. Look at reviewing your insurance policies because there may be some better/cheaper deals.

Finding a job that allows for school times is not easy in itself, if you want a part time job, thats cool, but I must say, you do a bucket load of work. Try to add another job to that?? Nup! You will work yourself into the ground and be tired, rundown, sick and start resenting him for it.

*hugs*

Sorry for the rant, this is a pet hate of mine.

[Ang3l]

mummachicka, I am just getting over a bad flu that did the rounds and because I was out of action for a few days the house looks like a bomb has gone off. I've only got 1 darling and a shih tzu to chase around, I can imagine how bad your place would be! Maybe you need to put things in perspective and list everything you do on a daily basis, or get a few batteries charged up and attach a small digital camera to you for the day. I'm sure when he sees the breakdown or sits through the fast forward he will be a little more appreciative.

Another thing that could kill the talk is get his least favorite mother (yours or his) to come over and look after the kids for a night as a trial run :P

[mummachicka]

Thanks everyone for your comments & suggestions. I've been out looking this morning for 2nd hand cars & have settled possibly on either a Honda Odyssey or a Toyota Prado. I love the Prado's and have owned Toyotas in the past. We also like to do the occassional 4wding which we wont be able to do in the Honda.

Currently have a Nissan Pathfinder & even though I love it for its size plus its a 4 cylinder Diesel hence very cheap to run, it is getting to the stage where Nissans are notorious for problems. So would like for it to go asap.

Darkbytes, thanks for your budget suggestions & I can promise you I review our insurances [cars, house & contents, private health & business] yearly. As for renting DVD's instead of movies - thats all we do. Cinema is too expensive for all 6 of us to go. Usually if theres something the boys want to see [like the new star wars 3d movie], then DH just takes them & him but that would happen no more than 3 times a year. Take out is once a week only.

Unfortunatly because of being in business we never get a regular pay either which makes budgeting so much harder. Some weeks we might get $3000+ other times we may go 2-3 weeks or more with nothing coming in. When the money does come in you are loathe to spend it sometimes because you have no idea wheh you'll be paid again. If everyone just paid on time & according to the contract we'd be much better organized.

Anyhow, once again, thanks to everyone. I'll keep you informed.

[Julie-Ann]

Is your hubby happy for you to not work if you get the 2ndhand car? It seems like the easiest solution.
If he keeps pushing you could try to get a job on a Saturday or Sunday. That way your hubby can look after the kids. And then you save on child care costs. Plus your hubby will probably beg you to quit after 1 day being at home